HL Rio Playa Blanca

TUI… please listen… You need to downgrade this hotel to a 3 star. THIS IS NOT A 4 STAR HOTEL.

Food here absolutely disgusting. The tipping point for me was finding multiple dead ants in the salad. Be warned, all the food is repetitive, reused, rank. Not a 4 star hotel at all.

The snack bar has burgers which look like cat food. The mince is just fatty slosh grounded into mush. I honestly wouldn’t even feed the food to my dog.

How TUI can sell this hotel as 4 star is absurd and absolutely beyond me. It’s 3 star at best.

Rooms average, very dated, damaged and in need of upgrade. The cleaners do a good job each day. Fridays are their days off and bins not even emptied. In my opinion bins should be emptied every day to keep the rodents away.

Bathroom crawling with ants. We complained about this twice and asked for someone to come treat the nest where they were crawling but reception just said ‘they’ve reported it’ and it never got sorted.

Location is ok if you don’t mind doing 25,000 steps a day. It’s a good 40 minute walk to the main strip. With two young children this wasn’t ideal for us. We ate out most nights and it became a chore having to walk there and back to get a meal on an evening with tired and ratty kids.

Evening entertainment very basic. Kids disco is 8.30-9 - too late and only 30 mins repetitive and very basic.

Drinks terrible. Plastic cups annoying. No where to refill water apart from the pool bar, should be dotted around the hotel. Drinks selection dismal. Apple juice tasted like pure sugar cordial

BE WARNED IF YOU CHOOSE THIS HOTEL, you will be disappointed.

Advertised as 4 star, I would rate it 3 star. A great hotel for families with small children, because of the mini water park and kids pools, plus the theatre has entertainment on until 9.30pm daily for the kids. With 300 bungalows, it is a large complex. Location is ok, turn left outside the hotel, and right at The Flamingo Hotel and it takes you to the beach, ferry terminal (to Fuerta Ventura), shops and cafes, relatively flat for walkers. Not so great for couples, no adults only pool too read and sunbathe, as the olympic pool has kids playing ball and snorkelling, one guy playing his radio. Ours kids are adults now, with kids of their own, so we prefer quieter hotels (I thought early Oct would be quieter but should have realised with the mini water park). As an all inclusive hotel, it is bargain basement, I tried the vodka & coke, gin & tonic, rum & coke, whiskey & coke in The Lounge Bar, none of which was recognizable, all watered down heavily. The restaurant had an Aero Gas (soda water) self serve, as this was closed, we asked the pool bar for wine and aero gas, he said he didn't know what it was, even though we told him that they had this in the restaurant. We ended up buying a bottle of gin and tonic from the shop, to have on our patio. The buffet staff work really hard, the food at breakfast, lunch and dinner is really tasty, on 2 of the 7 nights, we went for dinner at 8pm, an hour before the restaurant closes, there was plenty of vegetables, deserts and potatoes, but no meat. I took the last spoonful of bolognaise sauce to have with pasta, there was meat being cooked on the griddle if I had wanted to wait. We saw a boy of around 10 years old with a plate piled high with just meat that he served himself. When waiting to go on a VIP tour of the island (excellent value for money for a full day), I witnessed a TUI coach transfer arrive, put cases on and it was gone after 3-4 minutes, people waiting just inside the door came out and had to get a taxi to the airport because the driver didn't shout or go inside. We booked the Italian Restaurant, starter, main and desert were tasteless. The rooms were spacious and clean, the shower and hairdryer were excellent, as was the air conditioning, bed was comfortable, and the outside patio was a nice too. The room tv had a couple of channels in English CNN and BBC, I drink herbal tea, which I took with me, as there was coffee in the room but no milk. You pay 1 Euro for a plastic cup (refundable when you leave) to order drinks throughout the holiday. Other guests told us about the sunbed towels and was required to pay 15 Euro deposit, and they had to pay another 15 Euro for a deposit to get the key to their safe (ours was digital). I asked for the luggage storage room key on departure, the receptionist said it was already open, the key was left in the door on the outside! I did not find the hotel to be warm and friendly, apart from the entertainment staff, the others hardly ever smiled, even if you thank them in Spanish. One couple said they arrived and wanted to leave straight away, another couple, who usually holiday in Fuerta Ventura gave us the hotel details. Our first impression after arriving at 9pm, was that of a Spanish Butlins in the sun. We will not be returning to Lanzarote, not a pretty island, so unless you have a luxury hotel, not the best experience.