Royalton Saint Lucia An Autograph Collection Resort

We chose this resort to celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary and both of our birthdays. I’ll begin by saying the resort itself is beautiful but the all-inclusive luxury experience they advertise and market falls very short of expectations. We booked the Luxury Penthouse One Bedroom Suite Ocean View Terrace Jacuzzi Diamond Club option. For the most part, the penthouse was as advertised. Attention to maintenance details would have gone a long way. The jets on the outdoor jacuzzi did not work properly and lighting above the indoor jacuzzi was broken. There was a smear on the bedroom door that we hoped was chocolate. Although, it was pointed out during our stay it was never cleaned. Now for the food experience! Upon arrival our first night, we learned that reservations had to be made typically 3 days in advance. This is not disclosed during the booking process. Once on property, they encourage you to use their app but every restaurant typically has no availability if open at all and you guessed it all restaurants aren’t open every day which also severely limits your ability to get a reservation. You are largely restricted then to the buffet or room service. The buffet is abysmal, food options are under heated lamps extended periods of time so everything is old, hard, and dried out. Let’s talk room service, they confirm your order and prep preferences and the total opposite shows up or not at all. Frequently items were omitted or incorrect. For example, we asked for cheesecake with no fruit topping and it arrived with a topping. We would ask for salt/pepper and they would pour both the salt and pepper on a coffee saucer. No shakers, no packets. That is even if they remembered. We ordered pancakes for breakfast, the syrup arrived but no pancakes. Even when you call them about the error it takes just as long as the original order wait time. By the time it comes, you’ve moved on and made do with what did arrive. Our dining experiences were hit or miss. 40% of the time we enjoyed our food but a whopping 60% of time it was outright terrible. Our best experiences were at Grazie, the food truck, and the anniversary dinner we had on the beach. The latter was arranged for us because the specialty restaurants had no availability for our 20th anniversary. Shout out to our butlers for their quick thinking as it was frustrating that we could not get reservations at an all inclusive luxury resort for all the money we paid. We brought cash, but wanted to get more on property and the ATM was out of service daily. We could hear construction from our room a few days and were told they were working on the elevator. It was often slow and the ice machine was out of order. Food service at the exclusive diamond club bar was slow and staff frequently argued about bringing food to guests once it was ready. Most of the staff seem to be over worked due to short or reduced staffing during this period which is known as their rainy season. Most were polite but you could sense they were frustrated by the lack of resources needed to properly service their guests. They didn’t have straws or napkins - very basic things!

Beautiful Beach and Pools, but Everything Else Was a Disaster

If you fancy a vacation filled with toilets that don’t work, no running water, terrible food, and rude, unhelpful staff, then Royalton Saint Lucia is the place for you!

I’ll start with the positives because there weren’t many. The beach and pools were lovely. Unfortunately, finding a towel to actually enjoy either was often a challenge, as there were frequently none available.

By day three, things had gone from bad to downright disgusting. I took my granddaughter to the bathroom in one of the restaurants, only to discover toilets filled with feces that weren’t flushing. By day four, half the resort was without running water or working toilets, including my daughter’s room. How does a resort of this caliber allow that to happen?

I stayed in a swim-up suite, and while the room itself was as described, the problems didn’t stop there. The phone didn’t work, so calling room service or guest services was impossible. A technician came to look at it but never actually fixed it. On my fourth day, I was treated to a lovely lukewarm-to-cold shower. Housekeeping never attended to my room that day, so I requested clean towels and washcloths. I was assured it was no problem. Three hours later, still nothing. After another message and another 30 minutes, I finally received two towels. Apparently, washcloths were asking too much.

Now, let’s talk about the food. Absolutely terrible. There were times it was downright inedible. The Mexican restaurant was by far the worst. After waiting 90 minutes for our meal, the meat was so tough you couldn’t even cut it off the bone. The pancakes at the buffet were hard enough to double as Frisbees.

I’ve also included a picture of the fruit I ordered from room service. The photo on the television showed a beautiful, appetizing assortment of fresh fruit. What arrived was a bowl of diced honeydew and cantaloupe that looked like someone had just tossed in whatever was left over. Talk about false advertising!

And finally, the staff. While many were perfectly friendly when passing you on the resort grounds, heaven forbid you actually needed something. Requests were frequently met with eye rolls and attitudes that made you feel as though you’d asked someone to climb a mountain. The standard response was, “We’ll put a note in.” Where these mysterious notes went is anyone’s guess because nothing ever seemed to get resolved.

The woman working at the food truck deserves a special mention for being hands down the rudest employee I encountered. Not a smile, not a kind word, just an absolutely miserable attitude every time.

We were at Royalton Saint Lucia for my daughter’s wedding, and thankfully, the wedding and reception were absolutely beautiful. I am so grateful that those special moments weren’t ruined by the rest of the experience.

But a beautiful beach and a lovely wedding cannot make up for unsanitary bathrooms, lack of basic necessities, terrible food, and staff who act annoyed when guests ask for assistance.

This is supposed to be a luxury resort. Running water, working toilets, edible food, and clean towels shouldn’t be considered luxury amenities. They’re the bare minimum.

I would never recommend Royalton Saint Lucia to anyone. For the money people spend to stay here, the experience was absolutely unacceptable.